Beautiful Disaster
by alleykatz12
Summary: It's been a couple of months since the Narada catastrophe and Jim and Spock are finally starting come to terms with what happened. This is a story about regrets of the past and their hopes for the future. Will they get a shot at their epic destiny?
1. Chapter 1

A/N: I do not own.

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"Captain, there is an incoming message from Starfleet for you."

"Patch it through to the ready room, Lieutenant." Jim sprang up from the command chair and headed over to the doors, calling over his shoulder, " Mr. Spock, you have the conn."

Once inside the room, he happily greeted the face of Admiral Pike. The Enterprise had been kept on a short leash for the last two months, whether it was because they didn't trust him, or that they needed the flagship closer to headquarters because most of the fleet had been destroyed, he didn't know. He only knew that he and the rest of the crew were getting sick of being gofers for everyone.

"Admiral, it's good to see you again! Did you receive my request?"

"Yes, I did. I know you don't like being the errand boy, but all this work is important." Pike raised his hand to signal him not to argue the point. "However, I have managed to get the rest of the Admiralty to approve of a mission for you."

Jim's eyes lit up and a grin spread across his face. "Sweet. What is it? Do we finally get to explore new places?"

"No. I'm afraid not." Jim's grin slipped a little, but Pike didn't notice. "Your new mission is going to be transporting as many Vulcans as possible to their new planet and helping them rebuild. You will spend three months with them, so head to Earth first, and once you get here you and your crew will receive five days of shore leave before you head out." That was probably the only decent thing Jim had heard so far.

Pike, seeming to read thoughts, continued, "I hope you don't think this isn't an important mission because it is."

Jim now felt guilty at having thought this wasn't any better than the other jobs they'd had to do. The Vulcan people, or what was left of them anyway, needed all the help they could get. The thing was they did not want to ask for it. They were a peaceful people and very self-sufficient. You would have thought that asking for help when you need it would be logical, but the Vulcans didn't. They also did not ask for any of this to happen to them.

Jim felt bad, but tried to keep it to himself. "I think it is a very important mission and we'll head back straight away. Thanks for the shore leave, by the way."

"Don't thank me. You guys earned it. There hasn't been one complaint about all the crappy jobs you've had to do."

"You knew those so called missions sucked, but you still gave them to us?"

Pike smirked. "Someone had to do them, but that should make this mission seem like heaven in comparison. Don't you agree?"

"Yeah, I guess."

"When will you arrive at Earth?"

"We should arrive later tomorrow."

"Alright, we'll have shuttles waiting. I have to go. I'll catch you later. Pike out."

The screen went blank. Jim sat there for a few minutes thinking. He had many reasons why he didn't want to go on this mission. The most important one was Spock. Jim didn't know if at the end of the mission Spock would decide to stay on the colony or not. He and Spock still might not be getting along all that well, but he hoped that when the time came to leave the colony, Spock would be leaving with them.

Jim stood up from the chair running his hand through his hair and exited the room.

"Mr. Sulu set a course for earth. Chekov, begin a ship wide announcement telling the crew that when we arrive at earth we have five days of shore leave, and then will spend three months helping the Vulcans rebuild their new home world." Jim glanced over at Spock as he said this and tired to read his face but as usual he did not show any emotion.

"Aye, captain" Chekov replied beginning to relay the message to the rest of the crew. The reaction from the crew was not what Jim expected. They were all excited and seemed to think that this was what a normal mission consisted of. Jim just wanted to get away from all the bureaucracy and explore space. He knew this was an important task but there were other star ships that could have done it.

Jim tried to feel as excited as the crew was about the upcoming vacation, but he really couldn't. Everyone was scrambling to gather all their belongings that they would need for the next five days, everyone except Jim. He didn't want to go home if his mother, Winona, was going to be there so he decided to check and hoped that she would be off planet somewhere.

He and his mother had never really gotten along, and this would not be the time to start. Maybe, he could stay with his brother if Winona was there. He decided to send a message to Sam and ask. Perhaps, he would know her whereabouts, too. Leaving the bridge after his shift, he went to his room to send the message to Sam.

With that done, he didn't know what to do with himself and decided to go annoy Bones.

"Bones!" he called as he walked into sickbay. "What are you doing for shore leave? Would you come with me to Iowa if Winona is not there? I don't want to go by myself."

"Sorry kid I can't. I promised Jo I'd spend it with her. She is really getting sick of her mother and asked if she could come back with me because she can't stand being around my crazy ex anymore than I can. I told her that I don't think she would like it because of our next mission on some desert planet that resembles the old Vulcan. She said she would love to come and meet an alien race. By the way, just out of curiosity what is the policy on bringing a child onboard?"

"I don't know. Ask Spock. He seems to know everything."

"I don't want to ask that pointy eared bastard anything. He's like a robot and would make up some complicated logical excuse for why it is or it isn't allowed."

"I supposed I could look into it then," Jim replied. "It might even help crew moral to have some kids on board. Starfleet is a family organized institution. They usually try to keep them together."

"I know, but I would want Jo to be safe. I don't like space and with your history we usually get into every mess possible. You attract the most trouble out of anyone I know."

"Hey, now. I do not. I never go looking for trouble; it just finds me. And bedsides, I always manage to get out in the nick of time!"

"You are worse than my own kid. I tell ya, you are going to be the death of me." Bones said as he turned around with a hypo and stabbed it in Kirk's neck.

"Shit! What was that for?"

"Well, if you kept your appointments for regular vaccinations I wouldn't have to give them to you when you aren't expecting them." Bones smirked evilly toward his Captain causing him to glare.

"Just for that you are uninvited to come with me for shore leave. It would have been fun, and Jo could have come too, but now you are uninvited. Maybe I'll just ask her to come with me instead. That way we can leave you with your crazy ex wife."

"Don't you dare leave me with that bitch. And Jo would not go with you. She misses me."

"Should we ask her? I bet she would come with me if I asked."

"Leave her alone, Jim. You're taking advantage of her because she a crush on you. If I so much as thought you would do anything with her I would castrate you! So. don't even go there!"

"Hey, hey, hey I would never! She is like ten. You are a sick, sick man."

"She's thirteen, and I know you, that's why I haven't castrated you, yet."

"Oh, well thirteen is ok! I'm going to go call her, then." Kirk barely finished the sentence before being chased out of sickbay with a very pissed off Bones chasing him with a hypo in hand.

Racing for his life, Kirk sprinted through the halls trying to find somewhere he could hide. "I'm sorry," he shouted behind him towards Bones. "It was a joke. I swear I'll never say another word about her."

"You should have thought about that before you opened your big mouth! You're dead Jim, dead! Ya hear?"

Turning his head over his shoulder he called again, "Sorry!" As he was turning his head back around, he crashed into something very solid that sent him tumbling to the ground. Kirk lay there for a minute trying to get his bearings, and then looked up to see what had blocked his path.

He felt very humiliated at that moment in his life and wished the floor would open up and swallow him. Spock, whom he had just crashed into, was towering over him with his eyebrow raised, which Kirk took to be disapproving. He really wished he could just disappear right now.

Jim was staring up at Spock before he heard Bones.

"Jim you will pay for that. Besides, there is nowhere you can hide because I have override codes for everywhere incase of emergencies! There is no escaping me." Bones shouted along the corridor before he caught sight of the sight of the scene in front of him. He skidded to a halt while Kirk got to his feet and tried to hide behind Spock.

"Captain is there a purpose as to why you are sprinting through the corridors recklessly?" Spock asked in a stern voice.

Kirk, hiding behind him, answered, "I'm hiding from Bones. He is going to hypo me to death! You have to save me, Spock."

"It's no more than you deserve. You're an ass, and you need to learn when to shut your mouth."

"I, too, agree." Spock replied, "Carry on." He moved around the doctor and started to exit the hallway.

"Wait you cant just leave me here. You're my first officer, and I need your help. What if Bones kills me?"

"Then you will be dead, and I will then be captain."

"So, I was right. You are pissed that I got the promotion over you."

"No, I am merely stating a fact of what will happen should your death occur."

"Well, now that you point that out I won't kill you because I don't want this hobgoblin as a captain. If he were captain, then I would have to take orders from him, and I think I would shoot myself. But that still leaves so many other possibilities!"

Kirk didn't wait for anything and just took off down the hall, Bones chasing after him. When they were out of sight, Spock just shook his head and continued on his way deciding that humans were too complicated.


	2. Chapter 2

The next day was very hectic for everyone. Excited voices filled the air as the ship began the docking procedures at the Earth station. That is everyone except Kirk who could not be found anywhere.

Bones, entering the bridge, shouted out, "Have any of you seen the captain? I can't find that damned fool anywhere, and I am worried he might do something stupid. I checked the computer, and it says he isn't even on the ship. So, has anyone seen him?"

All at once everyone started talking. Uhura said, "I have been trying to get a hold of him for the last two hours." While Sulu said something like, "I haven't seen him since dinner last night." With everyone talking all at once, Bones didn't hear anything.

He was just about to shout shut up when Spock spoke above the noise.

"Silence." Immediately, silence fell upon the crew and Spock continued, "The captain has not reported to the bridge, which is why I alerted medical. I had thought that he would be with you. To what are you referring when you say he might do something impulsive? Is he unstable?"

"No, you hobgoblin. He is not unstable, but I just don't know why he didn't report to duty. I want to make sure he is okay. If the computer says that he isn't even on the ship, that usually means that he is hiding for some reason, and I want to know why."

"The captain is very unorganized. He may have forgotten."

"You are unbelievable. Do you even care that the captain is missing?"

"Yesterday, you were trying to kill him. You could very well have and are just trying to throw suspicion from yourself." Spock replied with a raise of his eyebrow. Saying that caused the crew to look suspiciously towards the doctor, like he might try to kill them all where they were.

"You are hopeless! Why do I even try?" Bones turned to the lift and made his way out to find the captain. He was worried that Jim would sink into his depression again like he did back at the academy. That was a year and a half that he would rather not relive again. He shuddered just thinking about it and pushed the thought to the back of his mind continuing on his mission and hoping that he was worrying for nothing.

Meanwhile, Kirk was hiding from everyone because he just did not want to deal with people. He had one of his reoccurring nightmares last night, one that not even Bones knew he had, and Bones could always tell when something was wrong. Kirk never told him what was bothering him but Bones would always nag at him until he got out of his funk or let him give him a hypo to sleep which was not a good idea because it made the nightmares worse. Kirk just wanted some peace and quite. He brought some paperwork with him so it wouldn't look like he was totally skipping out on work. If he had said he wasn't going to the bridge, Bones would have come and checked on him to make sure he was all right. It was better that he look like he just overslept. Spock already thought that he was a terrible captain, so why not play into the part a bit more?

If the ship had been in any danger, he never would have skipped out bridge duty. It was usually the best part of his job. He hated paperwork and had tons of it to catch up on, but he figured this was as good as any time to work on it. Especially since, he wanted to take his mind off of his problems. Spock could handle the being in charge for a while.

Two hours later with mostly everyone off of the ship, Kirk emerged from his hiding place in the girls' bathroom. Yeah, he knew that was wrong but he put an out of order sign on the door so no one came in. It was the only place he could think of where Bones would not look for him. He hoped that Bones had already left for the shuttles to take them back to earth, but he knew Bones was probably still looking for him. Bones could be very stubborn when he wanted to be.

Walking slowly through the corridors, Kirk was staring at his data pad and not paying any attention to where he was going, so he jumped when he heard Spock call out captain.

"Yes? What can I do for you?"

"Where you unaware that you were scheduled for bridge duty today?"

"I had some things to take care of this morning. I figured you could handle it fine without me today. I would have been there if there had been an emergency. You can handle taking the bridge when I'm not there, right?"

"That is correct. However some advanced warning would have been appreciated. Many resources were wasted trying to locate you. Lieutenant Uhura has been trying to contact you all day and Doctor Mccoy has insisted that you cannot be on your own and we should locate you as soon as possible."

"Bones isn't still around is he? Also, not that many resources were wasted. If you really wanted to find me you could have put on a search party or put the ship on red alert to get me to come to you."

"If I had done that it would have confused the crew and may have resulted in a catastrophe," Spock was starting to go into lecture mode of how to run a spaceship and Kirk did not have the time or the desire to listen to him. Kirk knew he shouldn't have hacked into the computer and erased his existence on the ship, but he just wanted to be alone.

"Look, Spock, I know I shouldn't have done that but I needed to get away for awhile, or I would have exploded. You probably don't understand but sometimes us humans need some distance from each other or we will start going crazy. I don't need your permission to take a day off, and yeah, I agree with you. I should have told you I wasn't going to be there. I'll tell you next time. I'm sorry, so if you will excuse me, I need to get going. There is still some paperwork I need to finish filling out."

Spock watched his captain start walking away slightly stunned, though he would never admit it to anyone including himself. He could see that something was defiantly wrong with his captain. Kirk was a very gregarious person and loved being the center of attention. Today, he didn't show up for work or lunch, which was when he did his usual socializing with the crew. Now, he wasn't acting like himself by trying to get a rise out of Spock or generally trying to annoy him. The captain even agreed with him about the advanced notice next time he wanted to miss work, which was very uncharacteristic of him. He never admitted he was wrong about something unless it was a life or death situation.

"Captain?"

Kirk paused about five feet away from him but didn't turn around.

Spock took that as an invitation to start talking. "Is something troubling you? You seem distracted. Do you require any assistance?"

Kirk slowly let out a breath that he didn't notice he had been holding. "I'm having some trouble finishing the paperwork for the docking and shore leave."

"I may be able to assist you if you have no objections."

"You would?" Kirk was surprised because he didn't think Spock liked him or would want to help. He thought that he would rather spend his time with Uhura, but Kirk wasn't about to pass up this opportunity to have Spock do some of the paperwork with him. "Yeah, I would appreciate that if you could."

"I have no other pressing matters to attend to at this moment. Shall we?" Spock said sweeping a hand out in front of to indicate that Kirk should lead the way.

Kirk keyed in the code to his room and strode into it; it was pretty messy, and he felt slightly embarrassed. He tried to straighten up a little and turned to hand Spock a PADD. Spock accepted it without a word, and they got started in silence.

Two hours later, Kirk stood up and started to stretch the kinks out of his back. He was exhausted and needed to sleep but now he had to go and debrief with the admirals. They would want to know every detail that had happened over the last few months even though he had already told them in the paperwork he had to send in after every mission whether it involved transporting goods or dropping people off. Kirk didn't know why he had to go and talk to them again. It was all a bunch of bull anyway. The soonest he could go and catch up on the sleep he missed out on last night would be in another five hours. That was assuming he finished everything he had to get done and the shuttles were on time for once.

"Thanks, Spock, for all the help. I don't think I would have finished if you hadn't helped." Jim wanted to say more but felt that he would overstep some invisible line, and he didn't want Spock to regret helping him. Also, he didn't know if they were to the point where they could confide in each other.

"Thanks is not necessary, Captain. I was only doing my duty as first officer."

"It's Jim, Spock there is no one around to hear you address me by my first name. How many times have I told you that? And you didn't have to help me, but I'm glad you did. Now, should we go and find a shuttle to get back to earth?"

Spock stood up and inclined his head. "I will meet you in the transporter room in exactly five minutes."

"Alright, but you do know that I am not going to time you, right?" Jim said with a smirk. He loved it when Spock was so very literal. It was fun to tease him about it. Spock always had to be so precise about everything, but it was what made him such a good first officer.

Spock quirked his eyebrow in the way only he could do and replied, " very well." He left silently after a wave of Jim's hand.

Jim watched the doors shut behind Spock and let out a deep breathe. It was going to be a long, tiring couple of hours. He just hoped he could get through them all without anyone noticing his exhaustion, or lack of concentration because he did not have any intention of telling anyone about what was troubling him.


End file.
